So, tell me. How do you respond when someone compliments you?
If you’re like most people I know, you shake your head like a dog with water in its ear. You might even back up from the person who has praised you, waving the terrifying commendation away with your hands, as though it contained anthrax.
Most of us seriously suck at taking compliments. But why? That’s easy. Fear. We are afraid, as Marianne Williamson so beautifully put it in her poem Our Deepest Fear, of discovering we are powerful beyond all measure. Being a loser is easy. No one expects anything from a loser – least of all yourself. And if there are no expectations, you can’t let anyone down.
But I am here today to ask you to please, for your own good, stop swatting away heartfelt accolades like poopy flies. Start to say “thank you,” instead of arguing against your own self worth, and watch what happens.
YOU WILL STOP BEING A JACKASS WHO INVALIDATES OTHER PEOPLE’S PERCEPTIONS
Put politely, it’s impolite to reject a genuine compliment from someone who cares about you. Even if you don’t immediately agree with this person’s adulation of you, arguing with them is actually inconsiderate and invalidating.
YOU WILL QUIT BEING A LOSER WHO UNDERMINES HERSELF
Even if you think you’re “just being humble” when you argue against a compliment, your subconscious mind will believe you. If someone says “You look great in that skirt,” and you reply with “Ugh, no, it makes me look like a sausage in a sock,” the hidden parts of your mind and spirit that determine how you feel about yourself will take your self criticism to heart. This undermines your self-esteem, which undermines your actual life.
YOU WILL EMABLE YOUR OWN GIFTS AND ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES
Every time you thank someone for saying a positive thing about you, you accept that positive thing as a real possibility. This, in turn, boosts your self-esteem. Stop feeling guilty for actually thinking good things about yourself. You are allowed. In fact, you are required. You are the only you you’ll ever have, and you are your own best advocate. Accept the compliment, and own it.
Did you find this post helpful? Would you like to learn more about how changing your own narrative can change your life for the better? Click here to learn about my SUCIA Empowerment Weekends, coming to a city near you! I’ve helped thousands of women change their lives for the better by learning how to tell better stories about themselves, to themselves, and I can’t wait to help you! Already know you want to attend? Click here to request your application!