Alisa Valdes

Writer. Producer. Human.

His Firm and Fickle Flesh

Aug
26

A sadder song
I don’t suppose I’ve ever sung
Than this
The Cougar’s Lament

I used to be the hot girl

You know the one…

And I got used to it. Hot girls? Listen up:
Never.
Never get used to it.
Because when it starts to be plucked away

one gray hair at a time

You will trip to find your footing you will
Fall.

I used to be the hot girl. And it gave me
A certain tilt to my head
That is nothing but ridiculous now.

Now.

And now? And now, two orbits shy of 50
I can get him to my bed

Oh yes.

The most beautiful boy.
Thirty years old.
He is perfect.

My God.

And he will even say it is the Best
He’s ever had, he will
Ask to come over he will

Even

Say he loves me.

But.

But I’m not for you, babe.
That is what he told me.

He is not for me. And yet for me
He was everything.

Dumb old woman.

It won’t be more.

I should learn to stop playing with boys.

I should accept the dimming of the light the
Graying of the mane
the
End.

Game.

It’s always a game.

A game I used to win.

But now?

Now.

Now I lose.

Every. Fucking. Round.

I’m a CPR dummy. I am practice
For the real crisis
For the skinner prettier smoother more fertile one
The one
he’ll actually

Love.

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