SUFFOCATE

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SUFFOCATE – a song

I wrote this song to tackle the conflicting feelings that come with missing a past lover you know is bad for you. Basically a new take on the “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” cliche. 

 

They say I’m crazy

We knew they’d say that

Didn’t we?

Didn’t you?

Didn’t I warn you

About me

From the start?

Oh baby….

 

You say you’re leaving

I knew you’d say that

Didn’t I?

Didn’t you?

Didn’t they warn me

About you

From the start?

Oh baby…

 

I beg, don’t leave me

You knew I’d do that

Didn’t you?

Didn’t we?

Didn’t I tell you

All about this script

This is how the story always goes…

 

You scream, “It’s over!”

I knew you’d do that

Didn’t I?

Didn’t we?

Didn’t you do this

To all the others?

To every girl you’ve been with?

It’s how your story goes…

 

It’s how you thorned my rose

How you poetried my prose

The sweet poison that I chose

You’re the snow in which I froze

Your fist is the secret that no one knows

Like a love letter

With pain enclosed

And this cancerous passion grows

Until it suffocates us both

 

And there’s no reason that I see

To keep breathing

If your torture’s not performed on me

Exclusively

Cuz I can’t stand to see

Any other girl but me

Receive

Your narcissistic greed

Exclusively

And maybe you just need a break

In that case I guess I can wait

Forever, if I have to

But you should know that every second that I wait

I will

 

Suffocate

 

I’ll suffocate I’ll suffocate I’ll suffocate I’ll suffocate I’ll suffocate

Without you

But I’d

Suffocate

I’d suffocate I’d suffocate I’d suffocate I’d suffocate

Just the same

With you

 

I know I’m crazy

I’ve always said that

Haven’t I?

Haven’t I?

Haven’t you heard me?

I’m broken from the start

Oh baby

 

I made you hate me

You know I did that

Didn’t I?

Didn’t I?

Didn’t you try to

Warn me

That you’d have to let go

That’s how this story goes

 

It’s how you thorned my rose

How you poetried my prose

The sweet poison that I chose

You’re the snow in which I froze

Your fist is the secret that no one knows

Like a love letter

With pain enclosed

And this cancerous passion grows

Until it suffocates us both

And there’s no reason that I see

To keep breathing

If your torture’s not performed on me

Exclusively

Cuz I can’t stand to see

Any other girl but me

Receive

Your narcissistic greed

Exclusively

And maybe you just need a break

In that case I guess I can wait

Forever, if I have to

But you should know that every second that I wait

I will

Suffocate

I’ll suffocate I’ll suffocate I’ll suffocate I’ll suffocate I’ll suffocate

Without you

But I’d

Suffocate

I’d suffocate I’d suffocate I’d suffocate I’d suffocate

Just the same

With you

EUGENIA SPEAKS

My homage to the master, Jan Garbarek. I always loved him. I composed, programmed, recorded, produced and played tenor saxophone on this.

Eugenia is my paternal grandmother. I felt her speaking to me through this. She died when my dad was nine and has always been near me, protecting me. This song is my thank-you to her, for saving my life. I am sorry no one could save hers.

NOT OKAY

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New song

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOT OKAY

 

I’m sittin’ at the bar, wondering how you’ve been

And if you’re sleeping with her in our bed

Because I’m not okay

I’m not okay with that

Or anything

Or anyone

Being me without you is no fun

You were the one who got away, for me

I am the one you pushed away, from you

 

You ran away from me

And now you’re gone

And you say that I should move on

 

But I am not okay

I will never be okay again

Cuz I am no one now

I am no one without you

And I am not okay

Things will never be the same again

Cuz I have nothing left

Cuz I have nothing, if not you

 

I’m getting drunk again, drowning in tonic and gin

Stumbling down the street, thinking of you

Because I’m not okay

I’m not okay with this

Or anything

Or anywhere

I’m gonna die without you, I don’t care

I was the one who was there, for you

You are the one who isn’t there, for me

 

You ran away from me

And now you’re gone

And you think that I should move on

 

But I am not okay

I will never be okay again

Cuz I am no one now

Cuz I am no one without you

And I am not okay

Things will never be the same again

Cuz I have nothing left

Cuz I have nothing, if not you

 

I’m nah nah nah nah

Not

Ever gonna be okay

Nah nah nah not

Ever gonna be okay

Nah nah nah nah not

Ever gonna be okay

Nah nah nah nah

There’s nothing left to say

I’m really not okay

God, I can’t be this brave

I never thought you’d stray

I always thought you’d stay

Instead, my heart’s been flayed

Baby, it’s no use to pray for me now

Because I’m never gonna be okay

 

And now you’re gone

And you think that I should move on

 

But I am not okay

I will never be okay again

Cuz I am no one now

Cuz I am no one without you

And I am not okay

Things will never be the same again

Cuz I have nothing left

Cuz I have nothing, if not you

MLK DAY SONG – STRONG

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I wrote this song in honor of anyone who has ever been wrongly accused, convicted, imprisoned, hurt by authorities or the legal system.
STRONG

 

Life can be so rough

My baby

The streets will make you tough

It’s not easy

I know you’ve had enough

And there’s no money

I know your heart’s been crushed

And I’m so sorry

But you gotta hold on

Stay ready

Because it won’t be too long

Til you are free

The city done you wrong

And this whole country

But I know you are strong

Completely

 

Completely strong

Completely

Completely

You were my hero all along

Completely strong

Completely

Baby you complete me

(Repeat)

 

(humming)

 

Justice fails our kind

No escaping

What they have in mind

Is mental slavery

The system’s been designed

To make armies

Equal rights denied

And it’s for money

We do not belong

There’s no maybe

They toss us headlong

Into poverty

The cops raise their batons

And shoot our babies

But I know we are strong

Completely

 

Completely strong

Completely

Completely

You were my hero all along

Completely strong

Completely

Baby you complete me

(Repeat)

 

(Yoruba chanting to Yemaya)

 

Keep your head up

You’ve got to get up

You mustn’t give up

That’s what they want

The system’s fucked up

The rulers corrupt

It’s time to rise up

And right these wrongs

Police brutality

Judicial travesty

Only the rich are free

And it must stop

They’ve got you doing time

But babe there was no crime

It wasn’t yours or mine

They frame and they flaunt

 

Completely strong

Completely

Completely

You were my hero all along

Completely strong

Completely

Baby you complete me

 

 

 

 

STRONG

STRONG

 

Life can be so rough

my baby

The shit’ll make you tough

and shaky

I know you’ve had enough

and it’s crazy

I know your heart’s been crushed

and it’s raining

But you gotta hold on

my baby

Cuz it won’t be too long

to safety

The city done you wrong

they’re shady

But I know you are strong

Completely

 

Completely strong

Completely

Completely

You were my hero all along

Completely strong

Completely

Baby you complete me

Completely strong

Completely

Baby you were my hero all along

Completely strong

Completely

Baby you complete me

 

Life is so unfair

my baby

My words put you there

and I hate it

You think that I don’t care

but it makes me

Wanna pull out my hair

or kill me

You did not deserve this

baby

It’s all so perverse

and it seems

Things just can’t get worse

God save me

Help me to preserve

Being your baby

They got you doing time

for nothing

Cuz there was no crime

they’re bluffing

They got it wrong

my baby

But I know you are strong

Completely

 

Completely strong

Completely

Completely

You were my hero all along

Completely strong

Completely

Baby you complete me

Completely strong

Completely

Baby you were my hero all along

Completely strong

Completely

Baby you complete me

Writer, Songwriter, Producer